What is the overarching philosophical concept that unifies the members of Blusion®?

Wow! You won't believe how frequently we are asked that. Why do people always assume a unanimity of philosophical underpinnings from a group of disparate individuals? The question isn't entirely off the mark, however. I would say that, socially, we are united by the fact that in essence, we are really just a bunch of old cowhands from the Rio Grande. We just want to fill the world with silly love songs, because we realize that girls just want to have fun. Our job is to entertain. We leave it to the great minds of the age, such as politicians, TV commentators, newspaper editors, and political pundits to debate and define complex concepts like good and evil, black and white, etc. All's we know is what we like to do, which is to play music, and get paid a lot of money for it.

I sense, in the lyrics to the song "Auto Erotica," a certain animosity towards the internal combustion engine and our automobile centered culture, which borders on un-Americanism. Why do you hate America so much?

Actually, we love our country, and we love freedom. We think the highest expression of freedom is to be free to drive around in giant SUVs, because they get 12 miles to the gallon, endanger other drivers, roll over in accidents, increase global warming, enrich oil company executives, and encourage our nation to manipulate foreign political systems to insure that they feed us a constant supply of their oil.

What kind of musical gear to you guys use?

Our bass player, Paul Dean, uses a "Slam Banger 2195" with a "Double Clutch Whoopee Box," which make his notes look and sound like watermelons. His strings, manufactured by prison laborers in China, contain radioactive scrap metals recycled from America's "Cold War Nuclear Weapons Program." The Department of Energy is working to make radioactive metal widely available to the public.

Our singer, Rustie Woods, uses some unknown substance that has the effect of making her hair purple. Some people think that it doesn't affect her sound all that much, but if you listen closely, you can definitely hear that her sound has a decidely purple quality to it.

Our other bandmates all use a bunch of cool stuff too. Most of it makes noise. For example, our drummer, Marc Smith, is always pounding on the gear that he has. Whatever it is, he makes it sound cool.

What is with those cartoon instrument people on your T-shirts?

Our marketing savvy is such that we understand that we need to convey an image that is associated with danger, and of course, sex. Just look at movie posters. That is the kind of thing we were after.

What is a live Blusion® show like?

First, imagine a Brittany Spears or a Madonna concert: flash, pyrotechnics, stunning effects, people flying through the air, things exploding, pre-recorded, processed tracks, etc. Then imagine the power and beauty of a Duke Ellington big band show from an earlier era. Next, imagine something entirely unlike either of these. The latter would probably be most like a Blusion® show.

Why can't I find your CD in shopping malls and department stores?

Honestly, it's simply that we just can't compete with artists of such immense depth and intergity as Brittany Spears, Eminem, and Pink, not to mention giants like The Backstreet Boys.

Some of your stuff sounds political. Are you guys some kind of radical fringe pinko anarchist weirdos?

Nope. We just love to entertain. We're a happy-go-lucky party band. We figure if people really wanted to use their minds and be challenged, they would stay home and watch TV.

You guys are political, you're not fooling anyone. What makes musicians think they have a right to express political opinions?

You caught us. Now watch, as our tails go between our legs. You are correct, only professional politicians, media conglomerates, corporate lobbyists and CEO billionaires can express legitimate political opinions. The corporate music industry is justifiably obliged, by the laws of nature, to prohibit all political content from creeping into contemporary music. Musicians should simply smile, jiggle their breasts and pelvises, and write songs about sex, love and betrayal or play happy music, like Kenny G does. This way, forms of institutional corruption and the march toward totalitarianism can continue unabated. You're right, my bad.

We love your band and all that it represents. We worship you, and place you far above ourselves. How can we join your fan club, or otherwise demonstrate our devotion to you?

Again, this is a question we are asked constantly and as such have given it much consideration. The various ways that a fan can express devotion and gratitude are far too many to enumerate here so perhaps it's best to be concise and summarize. In short, just send money.

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If you have a question you would like answered, send it to us and we will respond. Please be aware, however, that in order to maintain a high level of jounalistic integrity (like the New York Times), we can only post questions on Blusion's® Frequently Asked Questions page if they are asked really, really frequently.

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